An attempt to smile

If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him... Is he still wrong?
- Unknown

A piece from Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy:
When the Deep Thought computer was about to compute the Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything (later found to be "42"), representatives of
the National Union of Philosophers, Luminaries and other Thinking Persons"
demanded that it stop... or else there would be a national philosophers'
strike.
Deep Thought responded: "And whom would that inconvenience?"

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good
sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
- Woody Allen

Some ingenius theories-
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure
on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums
unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on
its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the
buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to
the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the
ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail
could easily link major metropolitan areas.
even it out.